Chii & Kira Anime Watching Club - February 2011 - G-on Riders

I get the feeling Yuki doesn't wear a bra...

Payback is a bitch, and now no one knows that better than Chii. Waking up to a screen full of abusive msn messages, it seems my choice of G-on Riders as the next title to share had the desired effect after Wild 7 drove me up the wall. But hey, how bad could a seemingly innocuous ecchi title really be? I couldn’t wait to find out for myself.




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Chii & Kira Anime Watching Club - January 2011 - Wild 7

Meet un-named cop #3 - he's badass.

Although it seems like a lifetime ago that I initially hooked up with Chii to watch A.LI.CE, our next title had already been selected and was hovering in the background like a bad smell. With the ball being in my partner in crime’s court when it came to picking a show, I had no idea what to expect from someone with a penchant for mecha and a lady-boner for series from the last century. When Wild 7 was fired at me, a quick perusal informed me that it fell into the latter of her fetishes. Far from being a modern animation snob, my initial thoughts were "just how bad could a harmless OVA be..?"

Opening with a high-speed chase through the streets of Japan, the line between good and bad guy is blurred as the show’s heroes are introduced as a renegade group of ex-convicts who have turned to a life of law enforcement. Well, in their own way. After running down a group of sadistic thieves, the Wild 7 spend the next five minutes stamping their version of justice on the brash miscreants with varying levels of violence. Be it a shotgun to the face or a motorcycle wheel used to rip a guy out of a car, the results always seem to be the same mangled meat-bag at the other end. Oh, and don’t forget random servings of fan-service that are more amusing than arousing.

Panties! In an explosion! How exciting!

Unfortunately, story is sacrificed for gore and action. Although I wouldn’t normally have too much of an issue with this, the confusion I faced after just the first ten minutes only got worse as the show progressed. Episode one introduces each of the forgettable characters which then shoehorns in a side-plot involving a hilarious road traffic accident and untold amounts of backstabbing. The second fifty-minute “fun filled” offering features some rather butch women, a clan of armour-clad Hells Angels and a plot complicated enough to challenge the writer of Donnie Darko. For those looking for mindless action, you probably will adore this. For those who enjoy a good story, give this one a wide berth as it seems the director did too...

Dave looked forward to his new nickname of "half-face"

I have seen comments that the animation for Wild 7 has an atypical 80’s look to it. Unfortunately, the show is actually from 1995. Although part of the blame probably falls to the fact that only VHS copies are available, the ugly characters are entirely attributable to a tightly budgeted art department. The colours are distinctly muted and carefully drawn lines bend and warp unnaturally as frames fly by. That said, gore fans will adore the attention to detail of a half exploded head or an eyeball slowly dribbling down someone’s face. Each to their own I suppose.

Signor want a siesta? Or maybe a burrito... 

One of the few things I agreed with Chii upon was the unintentional hilarity of the accompanying soundtrack. Featuring mostly a cacophony of utterly terrible rock, the relentless use of guitar riffs actually suits the onscreen violence. Sadly, recordings by the original vocal cast seem to have been lost in the sands of time and only the god-awful dub remains. Starring a Mexican impersonation that verges on racist, the rest of the cast either come across as disinterested seiyuu who have numerous other things they would rather be doing, or see this as a chance of a lifetime and therefore a license to OVERRACT. Either way, it was witty.

Lolicon alert!

From their initial introduction in a slick freeze-frame styled biography, I assumed that the dirty cops would each harbour skills that related back to their pasts. Happyaku the baseball hero, Oyabun the former Yakuza and Hebopi the bearded hippie all sound like intriguing personalities, however they are soon indistinguishable from one another (apart from an awesome ginger beard). With their initial list of skills quickly forgotten about, there is little to no character development afforded to the group. Even more annoyingly, an extremely irritating young girl with an inappropriately short dress is given more than a little screen-time for adding virtually nothing to the plot.

Happy by name, brutal by nature

Definitely not one to be taken seriously, this is certainly a show to watch “for the lulz”. I can now tick it off my watching list and pray Chii’s next choice is a little kinder... But for now, it’s my turn and I’m in the mood for something a little ecchi. Check out Chii's perspective here!

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Chii & Kira Anime Watching Club - December 2010 - A.LI.CE

Something important I have learned whilst watching bad anime - share the pain, and it can be quite an enjoyable experience. As a monthly featurette, I have enlisted the kind help of Chii from OshiiAnime to go through a random title once a month so we can produce two (usually very different) views for one show. With a taste to indulge in something sci-fi, the first pick fell to me and so the scientific method of "close the eyes and point" selected the little known movie, A.LI.CE.

Marvel at the realistic snow effects!

The "plot" revolves around a young girl Alice who, after the space shuttle she was on crashed, finds herself catapulted 30 years into the future. Luckily, the obnoxious Yuan and easily excitable Maria are on hand to help the intrepid time-traveller return home. Of course, throw in some cliché bad guys, a bad dose of space-time paradoxes and bin the script part way through, and what could have been a promising tale is turned into an out of control train wreck.

More than a little reminiscent of Dr Who's Cybermen

One of the good things about watching a show together with a friend is that when you lose track of the plot, and with A.LI.CE you inevitably will, is that your buddy can help explain things. Unfortunately, my partners shared puzzlement at gaping plot holes meant it was not my short attention span to blame, but the convoluted story that tries too hard to craft an epic tale. Younger viewers will probably love the over-the-top action that is somewhat reminiscent of Tron in places, and the poor translation that features classic lines such as "totally bitchin'", but the overall show will fall short of mature viewers' expectations.

Taking a plunging neckline to the extreme in that weather?

However! All is not lost as the writers attempt to inject fan-service into A.LI.CE. Sadly, it is the most bizarre, misplaced and ugly use of cleavage I have ever had the misfortune to observe. Also surviving the shuttle crash is a cyber-waitress Maria, later to affectionately become known as sexbot for the gratuitous rack shots and a vocal performer suffering from perpetual orgasm. Female viewers are lucky enough to be treated to cardboard-haired bishie, Nero, who is afforded a whole two-minutes of screen-time. Thank god it wasn't longer.

Who said romance is dead?

The crude CG used throughout is typical of the turn of the century, and looks extremely dated. Reminiscent of Malice@Doll, the facial features are extremely creepy, especially the eyes and teeth whilst hair styles have been created by a ham-fisted toddler. The backgrounds used are quite pretty, but the foreground characters simply don't blend especially with their comical movements. Fluidity has been completely overlooked, as have the laws of physics; one scene sees boulders bouncing in the background like giant hyper balls.

Alice earned the name "creepy-eyes" at school for a good reason

Another low point of A.LI.CE is the somewhat misplaced used of drum and bass that rattles out of the speakers during the snow buggy chase scenes. Completely killing the mood, the crappy music became a point of hilarity that continues throughout the entire movie. Although the Japanese seiyuu are all passable, another comical highlight is the terribad dubbing; sexbot transforms into a mistress from the deep south, Yuan is no longer a spunky teenager and Alice picks up a generic American accent.

Don't ask...

Overall, I found even a degree in Physics couldn't help me keep up with the legitimacy of the time travelling and the butterfly effects claimed for the future. With too much crammed into too little time, the mediocre graphics are certainly nothing to write home about. Although an initial glimmer of promise gave me hope of a sleeper hit, a hidden gem was not to be found in what amounts to a messy collection of scrapbook ideas that have been slapped together haphazardly.

To get Chii's view on the same show, click here!
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