|I get the feeling Yuki doesn't wear a bra...|
Payback is a bitch, and now no one knows that better than Chii. Waking up to a screen full of abusive msn messages, it seems my choice of G-on Riders as the next title to share had the desired effect after Wild 7 drove me up the wall. But hey, how bad could a seemingly innocuous ecchi title really be? I couldn’t wait to find out for myself.
On her first day in a new school, Yuki finds herself caught in the midst of an alien attack as a mysterious interplanetary group attempt to take over planet Earth. Only Japan remains under human control and all because of the fearless Riders: young bespectacled magical girls who use their “throbbing” power to repel the relentless assaults by these advancing monsters. Mix in a potential love interest, add a dash of tricky friendships and then a sprinkle of obvious humour and you’re on course for finding out exactly what enraged my anime watching buddy.
I’m usually a huge fan of tongue in cheek shows, and I found that Nurse Witch Komugi-chan pulled off the same kind of sillyness perfectly. Unfortunately, G-on Riders attempts the same kind of over-the-top camp fun and fails in the worst way possible: trying to ram unsubtle innuendo down the viewers’ throat (pun totally intended). Repetitive episodes of the girls fighting various versions of “fancy monsters” as their breasts bounce in every direction possible become extremely tedious after 14 episodes. Whereas Komugi plays the perfect idol backed by an effective and humorous script, Yuki has to make-do with an annoying personality and the most irritating verbal-tic this side of Kanon’s Ayu. Although it could have been cute, silly fun, the show tries too hard to parody the genre and falls flat on its face instead.
|It's obvious, but....|
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
|Bringing the Earth to its knees with her|
|A regular occurrence throughout the show|
- you'd think a grown man would know better
Of all of the things in this show that brought a smile to my face, the opening credits actually caused a giggle as I read the translated lyrics:
“Yuki, Sela and Yayoi are right now,
With the power of heart beating,
Mistakes don’t matter, see?
Go today we’ll get right by,
We won’t lose to a fancy beast!”
The less said about these lyrical atrocities, the better.
|Spot the subtle reference to tentacle rape!|
Realising just how bad the plot is, there seems to have been an attempt to address this failing by inserting a metric fuck-tonne of cliché characters into the show. From sexy teacher, obligatory tsundere, shy meganekko, tomboy, maid and of course a lolicon’s dream, every kink has been catered to. Choosing style over substance, the remainder of the cast remains two-dimensional and ultimately boring. Worthy of a special mention is the perverted principal, whose witty one liners and numerous nosebleeds make him a fun watch.
|Yayoi and Sela find themselves covered in|
"fancy" monster goo...
Bad ecchi, such as 1+2 = Paradise and Homeroom Affairs, come with a recommendation from me because they are so terribad that you can’t help but smile. Sadly, G-on Riders is so awful that it falls into the realms of simply being shit with no redeeming qualities. The mix of fetish orientated characters may attract a handful of viewers, but they are certain to walk away disappointed. Chii, I apologise for subjecting you to this... please be gentle with your choice for the next title.